India is MY Country!

Movie theatres play National Anthem before showing the movie and people feel awkward and shy to stand and sing.Then comes 26th Jan and 15th Aug and we change our ringtone/caller tunes from the latest songs to some patriotic song...Listen to patriotic songs and sing along...watch 'desh bhakt' movies...buy flags and say..."We are proud to be Indians!"
The next day...the flag which was pampered so much the previous day, lies in a deadly condition on the footpath. People come and go. They see the flag but no one picks it up and takes it along. Our ring tones change as soon as the Great Patriotic day is over.

We again start criticizing our country about lack of opportunities here and dream about our studies/jobs/settling down in abroad. All we do is boast about the economic conditions of India. WHAT ELSE? The city is cleaned few days before the common Wealth...and then? Life comes back to normal...bad roads...powercuts...dirty politics...Anyway...
When it comes to us...Well what are we doing for the country? Okay, we need not join the politics to improve the conditions/bank balance.

- We buy chips...eat and throw the packet on the road even if the dustbins are available. If a person misses the aim, he leaves the packet the way it is,instead of picking it again and throwing it properly. If you cant find a dustbin, keep it with u in your bag...go home and throw it. SIMPLE! I do that! Keeping a wrapper wont add kilos in our bag.

- We open the taps and dont close them. Misuse public property. Check out the buses. Do you spit on the walls of your house?

- College students feel bugged to get up and go to college for the flag hoisting. It happened in my college on 26th Jan. What a shame!

- We dont follow traffic rules. "sab karte hai yaar..." is our patented dialogue.
Still we say...."I am proud to be an Indian." Well yes....you are my dear but India surely isnt proud of you.

Blunders Love Me!

Blunders love me and I love them too and thats why we both share a special relationship called,'Haadsa'.(Means Blunder in Hindi) Blunders have been in my life since I were a kid. Its been always a part of my life and with time our relationship has gone better. Infact getting thicker day by day. So much so,when my friend gets bored, she loves to hear about the latest haadsa in my life. I am a great source of entertainment for my friend as its her favourite pass time and a stress booster.

If I start scribbling down my haadsas then I am sure, I will end up writing a 'Puraan'. People are material centered, self centered....I am haadsa centered! And my haadsas also include weird accidents.
I remember slipping from my college staircase for no reason. And when I started to get up, I slipped again and fell. If someone is not aware of how mixed emotions are, then I am the perfect example.I know what mixed emotions are and I have experienced them many times.When I fell from the staircase, it didnt know whether to laugh at what just happened or cry cause I was in tremendous pain.

Has someone ever heard about a person punching him/herself unknowingly? Maybe now you know...Its me! I punched myself once unknowingly,while laughing at my friend's joke and guess what? My nose started to bleed. How can such things ever happen? To me...is a separate issue!

These can be labelled as silly accidents. Major haadsas started to happen after the above mentioned signs.
Once I was suppose to submit my assignment in college and when I opened my bag to take it out, I saw water all over it. Damn...My water bottle leaked! So had to make it again which sir did not approve. So he told me to make it again the 3rd time...which I didnot like. So I made it for the 4th time which was appreciated (finally...thank gwaad...hooosshh) in my jury but they gave me a C grade later. Haaaww...and then n my next jury, we had this group assignment of photography in which i clicked all the pictures. They turned out to be pretty good. To save the soul of my friend, I also let her cheat from my theory paper. And few days back when I saw the grades, i almost died of shock..."ek aur haadsa...usse A grade aur mujhe B+..." HEEHAWHAW...I was hyseterical!
When professors dont check their mails, students get a D in their internals and thats what happened. I mailed him(my computer guru) my assignment days before my jury and earned a D. Someone should start taking my candid pics when these haadsas occur. I wonder how i look with shocked expressions!
I have suddenly started to feel that I am revealing my grades...so I should stop mentioning my grade haadsas. Faaltu mein izzjat ka faaluda...

Missed Calls

लोग मीस काल्स क्यूँ मारते है?

क्यूँ ख़ुद कॉल करने से इतराते है?

पैसा तोह काफ़ी कमाते है।

तोह फिर लोग मीस काल्स क्यूँ मारते है?

मीस काल्स मारू के भी प्रकार होते है।

कुछ कंजूस और कुछ मक्कार होते है।

बेशर्मी की तोह हद्द है भैय्या।

काल्स मार्के यह फरार होते है!

बात करने की ख्वाइश रखते है।

एक े ही फरमाइश रखते हैं

" बस कॉल्स आप करो हमको!"

कुछ बेशरम पैदाइश होते हैं।

अब तोह काल्स भी सस्ते है।

नही तोह SMS के रास्ते है

फीर भी ना जाने क्यूँ ...

यह हमको ही डसte है।

लोग मीस काल्स क्यूँ मारते है?

क्यूँ ख़ुद कॉल करने से इतराते है?
अब तो जान छोड़ो हमारी।
यह क्या आपको घर में सिखाते हैं?

Expedition of Insanity!

I read somewhere... "Expecting the world to be good with you just because you are good is like expecting a lion not to eat you just because you are a vegetarian!"

Whoaa! It answered all my questions which I had stored in my mind all these years.

They say..."Good things come in small packages"...but in my case, things were slightly modified. Right from my childhood, I have been encountering "Insanity in Various packages." Large, Extra Large, Extra Extra Large, Small, Extra Small, Medium...I rendezvoused all!

It wasn't an easy job for me to undergo the rack but patience(to bear) and stamina(to suffer) were great supports. Reminds me the Darwin's theory! "Survival of the fittest!" YES, I have been a survivor till now and I shall survive till my final breath...C'mon! Or else how will scribble my 'Expedition of Insanity'?

For the starters, I have a 'gentleman' in mind! Dont be fooled by the word 'GENTLE'. Thats just to garnish the 'man'. He's almost 4 decades elder to me(an antique piece) but is like a 5 year old from heart! Its nice to be bubbly and sporty but wearing that code 24/7 makes my tea too sweet to sip! His repeated acts of tattling, force me to wonder why God didnot mould him into a woman? Yes, he loves Gossiping...and LOTS of it!He will do an outstanding job for any gossip magazine. Well, if those people are ready to pay for his inborn talent then its worth giving a shot! He would earn a fortune...Hehe...

Originally he is Harmless and Sweet and I like him for his in build kid but he becomes nasty when it comes to troubling me. But on the other hand, when he doesn't make his presence being felt, curiosity kills my cat. I begin to wonder if he exists or is it that quietness before the storm strikes...Like I said before...I have been a Survivor and surviving with him means deserving a gold medal for sure! ;)

Another strong candidate for this category would be my friend...lets call him Raju. Raju LOVES talking and talking aaand...talking...about himself and himself aaand.....himself. Just see his luck. God has gifted him such a divine friend (Me...I sometimes praise myself too :P) who has the patience to listen to his babble for hours together. "Raju, I don't mind that at all. You see, this has been my inspiration to draft about you. You can give huge complex to Navjot Singh Siddhu, I swear."
Raju is also into sports. Eating is his favorite sport! So is mine, but I cant compete with him where portions are concerned. He has an enormous appetite just like the leaf eating worm which keeps munching throughout its lifespan and still gets away easily without consuming 'Hajmola' or 'Eno'. Hats Off Man! "Try for Guinness Book Of World Records..."
Despite of the fact that Raju is a self labeled celebrity, he sometimes manages to impress me by his self discipline and sincerity towards his work. And yes, he does call me a 'Bond' when I overtake him in most of the technical tasks(which is like...everyday :P)
His anger is always(almost) on his nose. He breathes fire.(I am thinking of changing his name to Dragon)Gets angry for kinky reasons. Swears that he would never call me again and disconnects the call but calls me the very next day and forgets everything about what he said the previous day. Heh...I have got use to his alien nature. He's one sample piece that cant be manufactured again by the Creator! Its fun to have him around esp now when I know his nature so well and despite of this, he's still my good friend.(I wonder if he feels the same)

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The Human Jungle

This place where we live has been termed a concrete jungle by all but I have a better name for it. 'The Human Jungle!'
Right from my childhood, I have always come across weird people. They seemed to be normal but that is all...Something was definitely insane about them. 'Devils in Disguise'...in short! Somehow they always displayed strong traits of some or the other animal. I wondered why was I the chosen one to have these clowns in my life and now I understand why? These so called 'saints' have been the inspiration to write this poem which I scribbled during the 1st year of my graduation. Aahh...that was long time ago...but the animals crop up even today!

'Things that make us what we are
are worthy now of mention.
Portraying the being of this fine jungle
will examine my power of creation!'

'There comes the one
Immense and Young.
Proud of his mien and looks.
Lordy king of the jungle,
always ready to jingle.
Noble speech missed his books.'

'Startled by a loud-mouthed chuckle
Gazed a Hyena in an awfully shocking attire.
So unpredictable and annoying it was...
as well as its vexing satire!'

'An abrupt spring of a cat
proved how moody it was!
So careless and lazy...
but never missed to manicure her claws.'

'Leaving behind a trail of ruins.
Leapt an Ape from tree to tree.
His lingo adorning his crown like sequins,
His insane mannerism and rigid attitude
portraying the spirit free.'

'As fate may have it,
I came across a 'Sympathy Sucking Leech.'
Sobbing over its foggy enigma,
cause serenity was beyond its reach.'

'Hissing his way through the foliage,
popped a snake from his hole.
Bestowing a flirty stare...
he climbed up a lanky pole.
And upon spying his prey,
raided through its way...'

'Swiiishhh....came a Tarzan,
swinging on a vine.
To impress our Jane.
displayed virtues fine.
Decency being the foremost,
and humour coming next.
This was the fakest part of the whole text!'